Looking, forging ahead

When did you let go?
I hadn’t noticed until I wasn’t sure.
Thought there was some backing,
a cushion I could fall back on.
Too late I realized I was
relying on memories, past ghosts.

Why am I still waiting?
All along you were amiss.
The first time I learnt
how to embrace this dearth;
understanding emotion again
in this light I shed, my own.

When did I turn my back to the sun?
Lingering in your shadow, now the light hurts.
Soon I know I must face it,
the light; the knowledge that comes with it.
Not a hand to hold, nor shoulder support
know I can, I will, forge ahead without you.