Sometimes I forget

Sometimes I forget
Maybe a wig, a smile, a mind-set
Apprehensive is the word
For every form I take

Don't take off your rose-tint glasses
They're the only way to live.
Once off, you only see ashes
Shades of grey, structures collapsing.

Not cement nor steel or man-made,
Of dreams  they are fabricate.
Built on belief
Destroyed by regret
A part of you wasted

Sometimes I forget
To stay happy, must race ahead
No peace I find
Even pillow 'neath my head

Heavy heart find a dark place
When none other can fathom fate
Over-whelmed in sadness I turn to thee
Wearing my mask, smiling, pretending

Sometimes I forget, You see me
What I am and where I could be
Rescue plans stand thwarted
My head in your palms, solace.

Sleep and change

Deep deep sleep…
A heady feeling creeps,
pulling me down under
into the land of slumber

Nothingness is BIG there,
space for numbing breaks.
Like a galaxy of nonentities
together seeking a haze.

Awaken as though from dead
Ah! Such a clear head!
Refreshed for another day,
new in every day!

Such the power of change,
over sleep it dawns and wanes.
A trail lingering, recognizable,
Of things from now and then.

Dis-Investment

Oh! how my blood boils!
All is lost in sweat and toil.
Not a penny earned,
but much time soiled.
Again, find myself foiled.

Like any machine, over time
loosing it's charm,
needing much oil.
To maintenance, everyone's entitled
as much as they'd like to wangle.

Give a man poison, he will die.
Yet, in that, another nectar finds.
No two people are the same.
Prescriptions for poison change.
As does the expert's adage.

Human interests are like stocks.
Must name benefits of the game.
Mere worksheets aren't enough.
Meeting expectations, unrewarded.
Watch the value fall.

Once you've hit rock bottom,
no reason seems good enough.
Gone down with a fight.
dis-invested, now move on.
Other alternatives beckon.

Moonlit nights

No rings to be heard,
nor a light undeserved,
when darkness falls,
she sets much straight.

Pretty full moons on
sultry summer nights.
Starry companions
shine with all might.

Beams that brighten,
Corners once forgotten,
Not a word maybe whispered,
Never know what's interrupted.

Jeweled skies gently hang,
as the earth rises to greet her,
O lady in the sky, round and fair,
Do stay a while and greet us.

The love potion

Holding back yet reeling
A sleepy, sleepy feeling
High on dreaming
The power of believing
Dreams come true
And oh so well
A smile, a glance
A telling sigh
Warm and misty
Delightful reverie
Lost in thoughts
Of when and why
Might the clock never tick
But the breeze gently blow
Might the hours never move
But time grow more.
Slowly absolving
Like a drop in an ocean
Not falling, but rising
The love potion.

Real Dreams

Gently floating in a land of dreams
Sometimes no reality’s to be seen
Wake me not yet, let me believe
In soft-spoken people and tenderness
From its pedestals, loftiness alights
Mingling as one with our souls
Softly we rise, signaling a soar
Watch the seagulls and turtle doves
Perfect skies shine down on us
As calm tree tops brush by
Gathering flowers, ravishing splendour
Fragrance tempts the skin
Sweet and soothing
A touch can be moving
When you’re all I have within
My outer shell stands for that
A shield against the bad
The rest’s now your core
I can see us grow
Together mostly, at times not so
Awakening to real dreams.

Two Penny Person

Just another two penny person,
Smile on her face,
Brain on the wane.
It’s easy to watch flowers wilt
No-one cares, they become silt.
That’s all that’s meant to be
Of genius and creativity.
Bottled wrong, presented worse
A mire of deep recesses lurk.
Here I sit, at a desk pondering
What will happen to our lady dangling
By the edge of her patience,
[and it’s a long thread]
At the corner of her seat
No longer afraid of the darkness.
If she leaps, and I dare say she will,
What black hole she’s falling through
Any dark sea of cushions to huff onto?

Paper heaven

Was it just yesterday?
A 48 hour Sunday…
Nothing to do
but gaze out to the yonder.
Just you, just me,
a few books, mugs of tea.

A layered parody,
shameless display of luxury,
pulses rage as pages pace.
Paper cuts drown in ice
while minds are fictitiously drenched
reams of imaginations magnificent!

A good day it was,
that 48 hour Sunday.
Raining sheets
melt on the window pane.
Cushy seats, mugs of tea
and pages and pages of heaven.

The pause.

can't find my sunshine,
drowned in sweeping rain!
what joy to talk of,
when simplicity is a cloy?
smoothly nursing
old, open wounds.
a smile one morning,
ragged by evening.
happy thoughts
complicate a lot.
deeply, deathly, dark
in your absence,
my muse and witness
lives a strange silence.
a fallen stance enlivens
every beat as it begins.

It could be...

A smile,
a pretty dimpled smile
My memories
are held up high.
Gently prancing,
sensations unanswered.
Riding high,
a rainbowed sky.
Many horizons
through blinded eyes.
Tomorrows unfold
As we hold our breath.
Gripped so tight,
yet gently we lie
in this bower of dreams,
hoping it could be.

Separation

How can I go in peace?
Although my place is here
Yet away we must be.
Perfection to such a degree
Knowing that it’s meant to be
Fitting together yet falling apart
Attempting lightness of diverged paths
The right way to rest our heads
A secret found, another kept.
Gently accepting the growing pain
Nudging apart to no obvious gain
Cold hearted, calculated steps
Boldly taken, lashing our chests.
Watching you plain as day
tomfoolery, making hay
Something snapped, then it changed
I go in peace
For away we must be.

Wish

Want it
Yet dread it
What is,
What could be
And thereafter.
A dream
A sonnet
A disaster.
Charms entice
When laughter lies
Wish it is so
Nay.
A wish can betray.

several, untitled

A difficult task you have handed down,
to forget and perhaps forgive.
Have you realized yet,
how similar you are
to the air I breathe,
ground ‘neath my feet,
the skin I wear and live in.
Don’t ask me favours,
I can’t give answers complete
Without you, I find so much
deary, dead and unfinished.
Is there much more to this world?
I knew only you from start to fini.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let me dream for a while,
Let me believe you’re only mine,
What’s the harm in dreaming?
I know reality bites
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Afraid to love again
A broken heart’s pieces
They’re hard to find.
Irreplaceable, one of a kind.
Gently we fell in place
Easily giving, selfless grace.
Mind does emotion betray.
Hapless fury hath no face
Twice pulverized,
you’ve left in haste.
Learn to tame,
Not your taste,
Wild horses are not your game.
Another man may another day
Flag this stallion
Bring her to bay.
Twice tried
Thrice denied.
Is it yes you’re afraid to say?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How to break a heart in 30 seconds
Walk away when she’s bleeding
Tease her when she’s pleading
Writhing in pain,
She watches in vain.
Tenderness once knew this place
Gave it respite, gave it grace.
An open wound brings no joy
A broken heart is but, a cloy.
At a woman’s heart, I pray,
Do not, like a donkey, bray
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am her I was not before,
Will be she who I am not now.
What was, to begin,
What will be, at end,
Is more myself
Than any journal lends.
Mother, daughter, girl, friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The mind reasons,
The heart will not placate.
An internal battle wages forth
An emotional storm wrecks havoc
Never far from hysterics
Nor from laughter insane.
Sanity’s certainly not,
In this blind game
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everybody makes mistakes,
As did I, fell for you.
The joke’s on me,
Always a goof.
Neither rightful hour nor nun
Can stop me burning
under this sun.
Sin’s a sin,
tho otherwise written.
Forgive and forgiven
Wounded pores still linger.

Witching hour

Pink night skies
A chilly winter’s night
Not a lonely moment
Never a dark veil
Day dreams and reality
Parallelly coincide
Nay, a magical time
‘neath this I lie
Watching it all go by
Trance and reverie
My state belie
A squirrel snores
When crows come to blows
This mysterious muted hour
Here not blooms a flower
But wilder than I believe
Ravens with night vision
Leaves that spooky-speak
A time for bewitching
A time for believing

Meandering Self

Can’t find what I’m looking for
don’t understand all heard
Perhaps it’s a rogue mistake,
maybe it’ll happen again.
Oft than not words merge
even though the utterers do not.
In a herd, pushing through
trying to find the real you.
Masks, costumes, shades and more
covering the surface, engulfing the core.
Sunshine trapped in long before,
‘neath this disguise, offers relief sore.
Dreams mayn’t reality be,
reality mayn’t be pretty.
All that counts,
when, to that, we get down,
is if it keeps you happy.

For a birthday!

Oft found in the midst of a crowd,
you are a stand-alone fish market
No matter where you go,
you’ve always played the Pied Piper.
No one know how many many
people have danced to your notes
or traced your winding path.
You play on oblivious.
For you are the one and only M!
Fish market, pied piper and friend in faith.
Have a super awesome double birthday
on the 13th and 14th of May! :D

----------------------------------------
written for a colleague's birthday

Unflappable

It’s like insight
from the other side.
Watch the wheels turning
crushing out my song.
Can only look on,
as it all goes wrong.
Though casually mentioned
it’s never ignored.
Each syllable uttered
has the power of form.
A meticulous sand castle,
stomped out by the rain.
There is certainly a better way!
To carve in stone,
to forever relay
my goals, my ideals
and never give way.

The Associate

Never one to remember dates,
Around you I see that change.
From tom-boy to girl-woman,
For you, I pause, rewind and change a bit.
Grown to be the girl I’ve never been.
Learning to love the homely gleam,
You make me cook,
You make me brave,
Be all that a man craves.
How do I understand you?
As simple as it seems,
Am I complete without your dreams?
Where I throw a withering stare,
There I feel you heart’s sad glare.
Each time you bide your while
Waiting for the return of tide
From breadwinner to making the same,
For you, complete the entire range.
Not just your wife,
Certainly not your slave.
But your mistress, lover, everything.

Progeny

‘You’ll never understand’, said he,
‘It’s beyond your capacity.’
Wonder if he’s ever tried
seeing the world from my side.
I don’t know pain as would he;
probably have more than he sees.
Running like clockwork,
I have a system clean.
Any sign of trouble,
it gives me a scream.
All left high and dry:
a tiny prick on his side.
Acid, on my skin streams,
my world in smithereens,
till the last moment,
I reserve my breath,
holding out for you;
that you mayn’t tread
on your own dreams and sweat.

Forever Gardens

She grows hearts in her garden,
a dozen a bunch, a sneeze and pardoned.
She grows hearts in her garden,
can’t be allergic there ain’t no pollen.
She grows hearts in her garden,
to gift at every parting.

So she says, “There isn’t an end,
these hearts, they keep coming.
As along as I live,
s’long I love,
and my heart’s always expanding.”

Here, she gone now,
a physical presence no more.
Yet her hearts live on,
spread all over,
releasing little love showers
each day, each hour.